Exploring new avenues of pleasure can be one of the most exciting parts of a relationship or solo discovery. The strap on dildo is a powerful and versatile tool that opens up a universe of possibilities for all genders and sexualities. Yet, for beginners, the idea can be intimidating. How does it work? How do you choose the right one? How do you make the experience amazing for everyone involved?
Fear not. This guide is your ultimate resource for everything you need to know. We’ll walk you through the entire process, from selecting the perfect gear to mastering the technique. Prepare to unlock a new level of connection and intensely satisfying pleasure.
Table of Contents
- What is a Strap-On Dildo and Why Is It So Popular?
- The Anatomy of a Strap-On: Harnesses and Dildos Explained
- Choosing the Best Strap-On Harness
- Selecting the Perfect Dildo
- How to Use a Strapon: A 7-Step Guide for a Great First Time
- Step 1: Open Communication is Key
- Step 2: Get Comfortable with the Gear
- Step 3: Lube, Lube, and More Lube
- Step 4: Finding the Right Position
- Step 5: Start Slow and Gentle
- Step 6: Explore Different Movements
- Step 7: Aftercare for You and Your Toy
- Exploring the World of the Strapless Strap-On
- Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)
- Your Adventure Awaits
What is a Strap-On Dildo and Why Is It So Popular?
At its core, a strap-on dildo is a sex toy consisting of a dildo attached to a harness, which is worn around the waist and hips. This allows the wearer to engage in penetrative sex (vaginal or anal) with a partner. Its popularity stems from its incredible versatility. It empowers couples to explore different roles, enables penetrative sex in queer relationships, and offers a unique way for partners to pleasure each other, regardless of their anatomy.
It’s a tool for intimacy, exploration, and powerful orgasms, making it a staple in the world of adult toys.
The Anatomy of a Strap-On: Harnesses and Dildos Explained
A common misconception is that a strap-on is a single item. It’s actually a combination of two key parts, and understanding them is crucial to finding your perfect setup.
Choosing the Best Strap-On Harness
The harness is the foundation of your experience. A good harness should be comfortable, secure, and adjustable.
- Material: Look for materials like leather, neoprene, or high-quality nylon. They offer a balance of comfort, durability, and are easy to clean.
- Style: Most harnesses use adjustable straps like a belt for a snug fit. Ensure the O-ring (where the dildo attaches) is the correct size for the dildo you plan to use.
- Comfort: The best strap on harness is one you barely notice you’re wearing. A poor fit can chafe or slip, distracting from the pleasure.
Selecting the Perfect Dildo
The dildo you choose is just as personal.
- Material: Body-safe silicone is the gold standard. It’s non-porous, phthalate-free, easy to sterilise, and feels amazing. Glass and stone are also great body-safe options.
- Size: If you’re beginners, start smaller. Choose a dildo that is similar in size to what the receiving partner is already comfortable with. You can always explore bigger sizes later.
- Firmness: Dildos range from very soft to very firm. A medium-firmness dildo often provides the best experience, offering a realistic feel without being too flexible.
How to Use a Strapon: A 7-Step Guide for a Great First Time
Ready to dive in? Following these steps will ensure your first experience is comfortable, connected, and incredibly hot.
Step 1: Open Communication is Key
This is the most important step. Before the toy even comes out of the box, talk to your partner. Discuss desires, boundaries, and any nervousness. Reassuring each other creates a safe space for intimacy and experimentation. For more guidance, relationship charities like polysoma offer fantastic advice on sexual communication.
Step 2: Get Comfortable with the Gear
Take some time to familiarise yourselves with the strap on dildo. The wearer should practice putting on the harness and adjusting it for a snug, secure fit. Attach the dildo and get a feel for the weight and movement. This demystifies the toy and builds confidence.
Step 3: Lube, Lube, and More Lube
There is no such thing as too much lubricant when it comes to strap-on play. Apply a generous amount of high-quality, water-based lubricant to the dildo, to the receiving partner’s entrance (vaginal or anal), and even a little on the wearer for comfort. Lube is non-negotiable for safety and pleasure.
Step 4: Finding the Right Position
Start with positions where you can see each other and communicate easily. The receiving partner lying on their back with the wearer kneeling between their legs is a classic. Spooning is another fantastic, intimate option.
Step 5: Start Slow and Gentle
The initial penetration should be slow. Allow the receiving partner to guide the dildo in at their own pace. The goal is pleasure, not speed. Begin with shallow thrusts to let their body adjust and relax into the sensation.
Step 6: Explore Different Movements
Once you’re both comfortable, the fun really begins.
- Vary the depth and speed of your thrusts.
- Use circular or rocking motions with your hips. This can stimulate different internal spots like the G-spot or prostate.
- Don’t forget clitoral stimulation! The wearer (or the receiver) can use their hands or a small vibrator on the receiver’s clitoris for blissful blended orgasms.
Step 7: Aftercare for You and Your Toy
After your session, take a moment to cuddle and connect. Talk about what you enjoyed. Then, be sure to clean your toys properly using warm water and a dedicated sex toy cleaner. (Internal link) Store them in a clean, dry place.
Exploring the World of the Strapless Strap-On
For those looking for a different sensation, the strapless strap on is a fantastic innovation. These are typically double-ended dildos, often with a bulbous end that is inserted into the wearer’s vagina or anus, holding it in place through muscle contraction. This allows both partners to experience a sensation of fullness and penetration simultaneously, creating a unique and deeply intimate connection.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ)
Is a strap-on only for lesbian couples?
Absolutely not! Strap-ons are for everyone. Straight couples use them for pegging, role reversal, and to allow the female partner to take a more dominant role. They are used by people of all genders and sexualities.
Does the person wearing the strap-on feel pleasure?
Yes! The pleasure for the wearer comes from multiple sources: the intimate connection, the thrill of pleasing their partner, the pressure and rubbing of the harness base, and the power dynamic of being the giver.
What kind of dildo should I buy for my harness?
Make sure you buy a “harness-compatible” dildo (Internal link). These have a flared base that keeps them securely in the O-ring of the harness. Never use a dildo without a flared base for anal play.
Your Adventure Awaits
Using a strap on dildo is a journey of mutual discovery and pleasure. By prioritizing communication, comfort, and plenty of lube, you’re not just using a sex toy; you’re building a deeper, more adventurous intimate connection with your partner.